Yeah. That headline is giving me a headache. And, it’s about me! Let’s be honest, I don’t think anyone has sailed through this pandemic. I’m sure some people has had it a lot harder than others. A lot of people have probably had it a lot harder than I have. And at the same time I’m sure a lot of people have had it ok. They’ve been ok. Maybe even more than ok? Maybe there’s a few people who’s been great? (I don’t know though… who could that be?)

Anyways. What I want to get at here is that, man alive (!!!!) is it a struggle to be a parent when there’s nowhere to go. Nothing to do but to try and be creative in your own home. Our son is now 2,5 years old. He was not even 1,5 when the pandemic started. It’s so odd to think he literally knows nothing else. Grown ups wearing face masks is normal. As is putting hand sanitiser on if he joins us when grocery shopping. The only people he meets are in our bubble or the kids and teachers at his nursery.

I’m not sure if his shyness is due to the pandemic or if he would be as shy anyways. I do worry it’s because we haven’t been able to socialise at all for over a year. Saying that, there has been periods of times where we’ve been allowed to see people and he did have a birthday party outside last year. It was lovely!!

Then lockdown again. And this time around I got pregnant. Woho! And also blurgh. No. Don’t get me wrong. We’re super happy and excited about our little baby! But this pregnancy has been a hard one for me.

The entire first trimester was just nausea. 24/7. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking I’d be sick everywhere. I never was. I don’t know what’s worse? Actually being sick or the feeling that you’re gonna be sick any moment? All. The. Damn. Time.

After the sickness disappeared in like week 16 or something I was uncomfortable and started getting random pains. Turned out it wasn’t so random but was pelvic girdle pain. Yeah. That shit is not fun. It escalated to the point where I’m now just on the sofa or in bed. Can barely do more than walk to the kitchen, go to the toilet etc. That’s not a great thing when you have an energetic toddler who wants to play. He is great though. We’ve been able to play on the sofa or on the bed.

As we’re getting closer he is saying each and every day he wants to see his baby brother and play with him. Heartbreakingly cute! One time he actually went into a meltdown about it and got really upset.

So I thought we could make a counting down calendar for us all to count down the days for when baby brother arrives. So we did! We haven’t done all days yet, as it’s hard to get a toddler to sit and do the same task for a long stretch. But here’s a couple of photos of what we did.

Now it’s getting really close. I’m still so uncomfortable that I sometimes have to go to bed before my son. Which is hard on me mentally. I really do want to be able to play and be active with Alfie, but it just isn’t possible. It feels horrible to see him disappointed and sometimes even worried about me. I’m explaining to him that I am fine and just tired etc. But of course that doesn’t change the fact I still can’t play or do things with him.

I can’t wait to heal from this pregnancy so we can do more things together. All of us. Baby brother too 🙂

So pandemic aside, being pregnant while having a toddler is exhausting in itself. Then being unable to move as and when I want to just makes it all in all a not so fun experience. Having said that, I’m of course very happy I’m even able to get pregnant and that we’re able to have a brother for Alfie. I mean, that shit is magical!

I keep imagining us being old and the boys being all grown up and coming home for Christmas and birthdays and so on. It gives me all the feels.

I guess my next update here won’t be until the baby is here. Eeeeek! So exciting! I can’t wait to meet him and see who he is.

Enjoy your day and hopefully you’ll get to sleep well, even if it’s only five minutes at a time. X