Can we talk about friends after becoming a parent?

I’m finding myself in a different country from where I grew up.

This obviously brings its own challenges, but then put kids in the mix and you have a good recipe for loneliness…

My ‘people’ are like a days travel away from me. Including planes, passport control, travel too and from airports and all of it..

Let’s just say it needs a lot of paid holiday days, money for accommodation and time and bandwidth for planning.

Needless to say, I don’t get to travel ‘home’ very often.

This has put me in a situation where I’m desperate for new friends. But how does one do this as a grownup with small people attached to you?

I’ve written about this in the past when we had our first boy. I then used apps such as Peanut and Mush. From that I found a wonderful friend. But as we both have two kids now and live different lives it’s hard to plan in play dates or mum dates.

I have people in close proximity to me that I definitely consider good friends. But it’s so different from the ones you grew up with, isn’t it?

The ones who knows everything that has shaped you into who you are now. And those ones would be wonderful to have physically close on this new journey of parenthood.

I mean, imagine sitting with your core friend/s complaining about whatever… bad service you received in a shop you went to recently. And they can 100% imagine you in that situation, see you standing in that shop talking to the shop assistant, how you were, the expression on your face and so on. And without even having to utter actual words to you, you know they get you. You know this and you feel this to your core. How? Because you’ve known each other for so long, been through shit together and.. you just know.

Now imagine the same but complaining about your child or children because they’re stupid dumb kids and you’re just a stupid dumb kid yourself who needs some reassurance that you are, hopefully, not messing them up too badly. And some reassurance you’re actually pretty badass. Which they know because they’ve known you since those embarrassing days(IYKYK). They’ve seen you do both stupid and amazing things. They’ve held you, you’ve held them in tears and in laughter. They’ve held up your hair so it wouldn’t get puke in it on a weekend, you’ve done the same for them… and so the list goes on. They know you. And you know them, so you know that you can complain about your kids without having to add the classic disclaimer “I love my kids more than anything in the world and they’re awesome”..
You know you can just say whatever is on your mind at that moment. And nothing else needs to be said because they know you just need to vent.

I need those people.

Maybe I’m just feeling a bit homesick at the moment.

I’m ok. I am. Just want my peoples where I can see them without looking at a damn screen.

Enjoy your day and hopefully you’ll get to sleep well, even if it’s only five minutes at a time.
X

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