It’s almost three years ago I gave birth for the very first time to our son Alfie. I had to be induced due to Alfie having reduced movements and we were almost at the finish line anyways with only a few days from the due date. However, because it was an induced labour I think it went a bit weird. Well I know it went badly. But I believe it was due to the induction and some misses from the staff. I don’t think it would have gone down the same way had I not been induced. But this is in no way backed by any kind of science. Just my thoughts on the matter.

Anyways, I was induced. Contractions started but wasn’t regular enough and I wasn’t dilated enough to go down to the labour ward. So wait we did. Lots of pain, not so many drugs (man do I regret that) and a long 20-something hours later Alfie entered the world and my vagina was ripped apart.

I got a quick cuddle with Alfie before we were rushed into theatre for surgery to fix my broken(fully ripped, 3c tear for anyone who knows what that is) vagina. Obviously very traumatic for both myself and for Jack.

Fast forward to 2020 and the pee on the stick changed our lives yet again.

This time around I knew I wanted a cesarian. Reason? I didn’t in any way want to risk the same tear (or worse) happening again. We spoke to a consultant or obstetrician (can not for the life of me remember the persons name or title) and it was agreed and understood we were going for a planned cesarian.

Best decision ever.

I can’t really believe it but this time around with little baby Leo was just so positive. From the very moment we checked in to the labour ward and the midwifes and nurses and doctors there were all so lovely and excited to help us get our baby boy out of my body.

Everyone was so kind, nice and helpful. And once in the theatre the care was so good but even more so the sense of calm.

We had a playlist going on speakers we brought with us and everyone commented on it saying they liked it. I can in no way take credit though, I got it off of this beautiful woman on Instagram: Tina Skarbøe

Link to Spotify playlist here!

Back to the labour of Leo.

It was so cool to be awake. I obviously could not feel an ounce of pain but I felt a lot of prodding and pulling. Which was weird and cool at the same time. He was breached so I think he came out bum first. As he was a few weeks early (due to my body gearing up to go into labour naturally, reduced movements and other things) he needed help with breathing. This is apparently really common with cesarian babies. Even so I was petrified. I cried so much. A whole team of people came in to check on him but luckily they didn’t need to take him away as he started breathing and crying. After a few more checks Jack was allowed to go over and take some photos and then to hold him. Beautiful! After a little while they placed him on my chest whilst I was being stitched back up. It was of course magical!

All through the whole thing the lady who controlled my drugs stood next to me and talked me through what was happening and what would happen next. It was so helpful. Even in the moment of panic it did calm me a little.

Overall, despite him not breathing for a moment, I could not be more happy about the experience. What a difference a babe makes, huh?

I think this has such a massive effect on how I’m feeling vs how I was feeling when Alfie was a newborn. I also think it has a positive effect on my breast milk production. With Alfie I didn’t provide enough so we had to top up with formula. Which was not negative for us at all. He slept longer and better and grew quickly. We probably will introduce formula to Leo at some point as well as it’s very convenient. But at least for now it’s not a necessity. As I think the trauma surrounding Alfie’s delivery affected my milk production amongst many other things.

The recovery this time around is going better so far as well. Don’t want to jinx it of course 😬 but I do feel like it’s like night and day compared to when Alfie was born.

Now I’ll go back to feeding this super eater that is Leo and leave you for a moment.

Enjoy your day and hopefully you’ll get to sleep well, even if it’s only five minutes at a time. X