Here we go again

Oh lord what have we done?!

Wow. It’s been a while since I wrote something. So here it goes..

I’m pregnant. Again! We’re obviously ecstatic but also a bit terrified. What if Alfie will hate his sibling? What if it will be insanely hard to have two kids? What if I get post natal depression? What if.. what if.. what if…?!?!

I know. We can’t go through life constantly worrying about everything. And truthfully, my worries does not control me. But they’re a constant little nagging voice in the back of my head. Sometimes VERY LOUD. Other times less so. And it’s exhausting. I guess it’s the price you pay when you’re a worrier. Prone to being anxious. C’est la vie, n’est pas? (I hope I got that right. I actually have French friends. Don’t hate me Emm)

Ok. I can’t really go on with this post without acknowledging the other life changing event we’re all living at the moment. COVID-19. What an insane year it has been. It’s been overwhelming. Heartbreaking. Saddening. Depressing. Aggravating. Lonely. Maybe eye opening for some. I don’t know about you but a year down the line and I just can’t do it anymore. Maybe it’s a bit amplified by the fact I’m pregnant, hormonal and just exhausted as a general norm these days. But honestly. Here in the UK we’re currently in our third lockdown(third!! 1,2,3 – third!!). Although we have a support bubble it’s painful to not be able to see our friends and for me to not be able to see my family and friends back home. It’s painful to the core. As I’m sure for so many others. We are the lucky ones who still have everyone earth side. But damn. Doesn’t make it any less hard.

Ok. Enough on the ‘rona. Back to baby stuff. I can put something together maybe about working from home with a toddler at another time. Or maybe not. We shall se.

Now about telling Alfie he’s becoming a big bro. Not sure how other parents did it or what their children’s reactions were. But Alfie is mildly excited about getting a baby brother. To be fair to him he’s only two and half. I just hope he’ll love his baby bro when he gets here. Not sure how I’ll cope if he gets all super jealous and wants to hurt his little brother. I mean I’m sure that’ll happen at one point. But hopefully not at the very start… If anyone has any tips on making sure we include Alfie as much as possible in his new siblings life please do share. Or if there’s any other tips or ideas. All welcome.

Ok. I think that’s enough for now. It is nice to be back.

Enjoy your day and hopefully you’ll get to sleep well, even if it’s only five minutes at a time.


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