I cannot believe Alfie is six-months-old already. My beautiful baby boy! He is growing and learning new things every day. It’s amazing to see.
Every morning he wakes up and smiles. Who does that?
I could never have imagined what motherhood would be or feel like. As impossible as it may seem, I love him more each day that passes.
But I want to be honest. Although I love him so much it makes me cry sometimes. It’s not always happy baby giggles and cuddles.
There are days where I’ve struggled – a lot.
The sleep deprivation gets to you. For me it’s also the fact that I’m always needed. There isn’t a moment where I’m not needed and that can be stressful at times.
Other times it’s great and amazing to have such purpose. I know what I do truly has an effect on someone. My little one.
The flip side is whatever I do will have an effect, maybe not in a grandiose way, but still some kind of impression. That can be awesome and at the same time petrifying. Think about it.
Six months ago I was just going to the midwife for a normal check-up. It was the last scheduled one before the due date.
That evening Alfie was born after I was induced into labour. I’ll write more about that in another post but, let me tell you this, it’s been a hell of a rollercoaster.
From feeling an absolute explosion of love to mourning my pre-baby body. It’s more highs than lows for sure.
The hormones are a bloody nightmare as well. This thing called mum-brain or baby-brain is very real. Getting confused, mixed up or just forgetting things in general happens quite often – at least in the beginning.
It’s like all the focus-units you have in your brain are all used up on this new tiny little human just to keep it alive. Which is a good thing obviously.
I guess it’s also due to the change in perspective. Everything else just fades. Everything.
It was amazing I had my parents and an even more amazing baby-daddy who made sure I could sleep, eat and other stuff.
So now what? Well tonight we’ll have a celebratory dinner at home with my London-based family. We made it!
After that? I guess we’ll keep on taking it one day at a time and hopefully have a respectful, lovable, happy child who grows up being an awesome person.
Forking shirtballs I love our little human so much.
Enjoy your day and hopefully you’ll get to sleep well, even if it’s only five minutes at a time.
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Great writing. But – shirtballs?
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It’s from a Netflix show called The Good Place where it’s impossible to swear.